Escape
by Ventos
Summary: An ordinary smuggler tries to escape from a New Imperial invasion on the corrupt planet of Ji'kal. OneShot. Rate and Review!


"Still flying that piece of poodoo

**While I don't own the rights to Star Wars, or anything in the Lucasfilm realm really, I still own the rights to a gentle satire. Enjoy.**

Escape

"Still flying that piece of poodoo?" Desar asked mockingly. "It looks like a rotting kowakian monkey lizard!

"You know it," Jek replied, forcing a half-smirk. "Till death."

"Or when the New Empire confiscates it from you," Desar added.

Desar and Jek stood, being pushed back and forth on the gusty landing pad on Ji'kal. Ji'kal, a thickly wooded haven for smugglers, sat nestled near-perfectly in a popular trade route in the Mid Rim. Ji'kal, a planet that held a peculiar constant for night and day, was recently "occupied" by the Empire. Although Ji'kal only revolved around one star, it received light from two principle stars--Ji'kaad and Ji'ked--which blanketed and layered the small planet in two covers of heat and light.

Fortunately for the inhabitants of Ji'kal, a mass of asteroids, left over from a failed superweapon the Galactic Empire was testing, hovered in space around the planet. To further their fortune, the group of asteroids soon fell into orbit around the planet, and the planet was shielded from the harmful rays of the dual suns. A hundred years later, after the old Empire fell, and the Fel Empire rose, they artificially imported exotic plants and trees in the hope of restoring life to the once-desert planet. It was called Operation Life-Restoration.

They only partially succeeded. The experiment cost the New Empire far too much than they had intended to spend, and they killed off Operation Life-Restoration. The New Empire never anticipated the role the planet itself would have in the experiment.

In addition to the planting of trees and plants, and the importing of foreign animals, the New Empire, before they imported any organisms, they established large bodies of water around the planet. They brought water onto the planet from offworld sources, and made lakes and water deposits--no seas or oceans--on the planet. Then, they began the forestation. Unfortunately, they only forested fourteen percent of Ji'kal.

However, the New Empire did not count on natural forces of spreading the wildlife. They believed those methods to be far too slow for such a monumental experiment of creating an entirely habitable world. They did not foresee, or count on, the natural winds of the deserts. The intense winds, coupled with the water deposits scattered around the planet, sped up the course of spreading the seeds and creatures and escalated the gigantic, startling growth of the surroundings of the scarce world. And, in a few decades, the planet was covered in forest, though there were still few animals.

But the New Empire left too early. Fel I, the first Emperor of the risen Fel Empire, had given up on the project. When news finally reached him, he did not care for Operation Life-Restoration any more, and considered it another huge liability of the Empire.

"Maybe," Jek conceded. "I don't think we'll be seeing their presence here since they ditched us here thirty years ago."

"If only they knew we were transporting illegal goods that undermined and subverted the authority of the Empire…" Desar said, his voice trailing off.

"Maybe," Jek repeated, forcing another half smile. Suddenly, as if on cue by Jek's comment, a silver sliver of a triangle appeared above Ji'kal. Desar's expression fell as he noticed the Star Destroyer in space.

"Oh stang," he said. His shaking right hand pointed to the grey isosceles triangle looming in the sky. In a few seconds, it lowered, nearing the outer atmosphere.

"They'll discover our smuggling operations! Get to your ship!" Jek yelled. Jek took off at a run in one direction, and Desar in another.

In a few minutes, Jek had boosted his ship's power up, and was lifting up off the forested ground. Jek flicked a few switches on his cargo ship's control board, powering up the shields. It would take about three minutes before the shields totally came up. He could evade tractor beams if need be. As his ship sped towards the atmosphere, in the opposite direction of the approaching star destroyer, a mass comm signal was sent to his ship.

"Attention, smugglers. This is Star Destroyer _Protector_ heralding all cargo ships. Surrender your cargo and ships, and you will not be fired upon." Jek barrel-rolled his cargo ship, even though there were no turbolasers or tractor beams to avoid. Then, in a flash, there were. Several green lasers lanced out at Jek's ship, though they missed by a large distance. Two more shot at Jek, but they shot through the space where he had been seconds earlier.

There was a light beep, and a blue light blinked twice. Jek smiled; the shields were up…finally. Jek consulted his radar, noticing many white blips flying in roughly the same scattered pattern as he. It was a panicked, uncoordinated fleeing. Jek looked out his viewport to the left and jumped a little in his seat. A stray turbolaser bolt struck a cargo ship, exploding it in a gigantic shower of flame and metal. The sheer size of the explosion rocked Jek's ship, which was almost at 830 km/ph.

Jek, straying from the pack of cargo ship hastily escaping from the planet, pulled up. A few other cargo ships followed his lead, but quickly steered back down after they realized the plan was total idiocy. All except one. Jek only noticed the white blip on his radar, as the rest of the fleet disappeared from his radar. Jek's shields buckled for a moment from a direct hit upon his ship, but quickly reinforced themselves.

"Attention Star Destroyer _Protector_," Jek began, flicking on his comm.

"Acknowledged, freighter ship."

"A have a message for your captain." There was a slight pause, then a _click_, then a different voice.

"This is officer Weston, pilot. Captain Vitaff is currently unavailable."

"Well give him a message for me will ya?" Jek cleared his throat. "Tell his bantha-sniffing, karking, kowakian monkey lizard sack of poodoo, kriffing e-chu-ta that we're not listening. Ya got that?" There was a long pause. "Good," Jek said into the comm, flicking it off.

"Yes, pilot. We've got that," Weston replied. "Kill him. Divert all attention towards that ship. Blast it out of the karking sky!"

Tens of green turbolasers struck out at the ship, though only one hit. Jek's shields faltered for a moment, and strengthened. Jek checked the gravity reader; he was almost in space. Another turbolaser wave lanced out at his ship, all missing.

Now Jek was out of the atmosphere. He hastily checked his navicomputer, scanning for the nearest coordinates. Sran, a populous metropolis planet, was only .52 parsecs away. Jek entered the coordinates in his hyperdrive. Before he left, he had some final words for Officer Weston.

"Up yours," he yelled. Then, he pushed the hyperspace lever forward. The stars streaked into lines, and he vanished into space.


End file.
